chinese new year 2010

full wit sadness..
totally sad..
my dear fren's bro passed away..
i never feel happy n smile at all..
somemore..quarrel wit my dear..
i reali feel tat i m nt tat important for him..
his frens r more important than me..
reali feeling hurt..
by the way..i reali lost control n scold him without control myself..
feel so sorry to him..
bt i did tat coz he cheat me!
damn hate abt tat..like a stupid!
n i reali jealous tat he acc his frens..
he never spend long time to acc me..
bt he wil feel nt enough to acc his frens..
i reali feeling jealous..especially coz of tat girl...
tat's a truth bt he never admit it..mayb he cant feel it..so made me non stop to cry every night..
he never knw it..he din give me any response when i said cant be wit him anymore..
nw we din decide to break up..bt i can feel tat the feeling r different as b4..
the way he msg..the way he talk..i can feel tat..
n i m so hurt..i cant slp wel every night wit my tears..
nobody can read my sadness..he juz thk tat wat i said reali hurt him..
bt he never thk abt me..my heart is bleeding..

useless

m i useless?
since 15th jan til nw i stil cant handle my job as well..
today my sifu on leave..
so i had to face it..
bt i juz feeling helpless..
i reali try to handle it..
my sifu always worry tat he cant teach me well..
bt juz my problem..i din learn it well..
he always back me up..reali nice..
bt i juz knw to make him disappointed..
how come i wil b like tat?
hate myself!! damn hate!!
a stupid girl...

money!! money!! money!! i need u..

this month salary = RM960
rebonding = RM130
kfc for my sisters = RM30
rental = RM150
expenses for daily life = RM180
hav to give my mum..
buy new clothes for my sister,brother n mummy..
how come i gt money to buy new clothes for myself??
where can i gt the money??
can i gt some part time to gt the money??
reali hope tat can give more to my mum..
so tat they can live without any tension abt money.. =(